76 - The Daily Lie.

I have done the unthinkable... some time ago now I said no to early starts for vanity's sake and yes to an extra half an hour in bed.

I used to find the pressure to look good on the school run quite panic inducing and crippling, the need to look perfectly put together and like I have all my sh*t together before 8.30am causing an almost daily meltdown. I am a night owl and definitely not a morning person, so getting my kids in to school before the proverbial bell rings is a miracle in itself, let alone doing it in perfectly applied war paint. I asked myself who the make up was for, it certainly wasn't me, so what was the point?

I no longer wear makeup unless I want to (there are times it just feels good to look super pampered and preened and like a team of stylists have been at me) or my face will be recorded in some form other than by memory (wedding photos for example). Just because you can, doesn't mean you should, right? I got sick of what felt like a daily lie, for me, a feeling of having to say "look at me with my perfect skin and no dark circles under my eyes from burning the midnight oil", when underneath the primer, foundation, concealer and powder (and seriously - do you realise you what you are putting on your face - look at and decode your make up's ingredient list for something far more frightening than any horror flick you'll ever see) lay the truth. My skin could be better, so what? Do you really care? I didn't think so...

For more information on the make up thing - http://www.safecosmetics.org/get-the-facts/chemicals-of-concern/ makes for an interesting read.  I don't claim this to be the authority on the matter but it might spark your interest for further research, just because you aren't physically eating your make up, doesn't mean it doesn't wind up in your system - be smart, don't just look it!

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70 - What is "Feminine" Anyway?

Instagram has opened my world up to lots of lovely people over the last 18 months or so and one of them is the lovely Sara of "Me and Orla". I was casually reading her blog this morning (check it out here) and felt compelled to write to tell her of my thoughts on one of her comments. As I started writing I felt like I wanted to share it with you as what it addresses has been drifting through my mind over the past couple of months as something I wanted to get into here. Without further ado...

Reading the Object Style giveaway post this morning. The bit about fashion not flaunting or flattering really struck a chord with me. I used to be a size 8-10 at uni and then when I left and moved in with the Mr everything got way too comfortable (or really uncomfortable in the case of my clothing and visual identity). Too many late nights dining and drinking, too many lazy weekends sleeping off the night before and then eventually three pregnancies (two of which had complications that caused me to be H-U-G-E  - look up polyhydramnios - 3l of fluid bulks you out considerably) have not helped my cause any. It's something I really struggle with now and find myself reverting to my old tom-boy ways - sweaters and boyf jeans, partially to cover up a multitude of sins left on my body by life and over a decade of abusing it, but mostly due to not being good with dresses and dignity (how can I romp through the woods and climb rocks in a dress without exposing myself - serious question).

I struggle with what is flattering and feminine and the notion of why I should look "feminine" is a complex one that no matter how hard I try, I just can't reason with. I do know that it irritates me that stereotypes threaten to encroach on my being able to live and look how I like. I want to live an active lifestyle, bouldering with my kids, running in and out of the sea, hiking and tumbling through woods and I should do all of this in what? I have yet to find a pair of walking trousers that fit my shape and I like (I'm just not in to hefty or horrid fabrics or a billion pockets which seem to be the only things available to my fit) and shockingly so much of whats "out there" involves some form of pink. Because I'm a girl (woman? I lost track somewhere early twenties when I couldn't figure out if I was a grown up or not) I must obviously devour pink for breakfast... Yes, I'd like to look good, no, I don't want to wear pink. Yes, I'd like my clothes to be functional, but I also want them to flatter. Comfort to me is about not worrying about how my leftover belly (that I've been told only surgery will fix) looks at a moment in time when I'm moving as well as being able to move with ease.

So often we are manipulated in to believing that we must be long wavy haired earth mother goddesses or waif model like girls about the city, red carpet ready from 7am. I'm neither, I'm both, I'm more than that, I think.

The hunt for who I am via how I dress continues, as does the hunt for clothes that flatter and fit well. Eventually I may even figure out what femininity means to me (and stop raging against the likes of certain celebrities who purport to be "feminists" but seem to use that stance to hide that they are using their sexuality to further their ambitions, but that's a different post entirely I think).

For now, I'm just happy and content to be surrounded by people who are beginning to break stereotype myths and please themselves.

Sara's portrait as taken by the lovely Xanthe Berkley who I had the good fortune to meet at last years Good Life Experience in North Wales.

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43 - Growing The Sorting Office

Hello there. Again its been a while since my last post. I'm trying something new you see. I realised that I am in charge. I've forgotten that a lot over the past couple of years (when I've been up til 2am for a self imposed personal project deadline and up again at 7 with the small ones) but I keep reminding myself now that I set the pace and its no longer a race. I'm spending time enjoying the journey of what I'm trying to do rather than race on to the destination and miss the scenery on the way. I'll be posting a roundup of the summer holiday trip rather than a few more posts as its September now and that was July (if only August hadn't been spent being poorly mostly...). First I want to tell you about something I've been working on.

For a while I've been wanting to better my blog. Make it more interesting and serve a little more as a resource and wider reading rather than a retrospective. I'm battling the time demons so I'm still not promising to post every day as I'm starting to realise that rather than getting easier when the boy started school, theres actually more work to be done. At the age of 4 he's already bringing homework back and reading as well as the rounds of play dates and birthdays starting a fresh. I digress... However, I have come up with a couple of labels/categories and already have a couple of posts written and ready to go!

Talking to...  - Other entrepreneurs mostly but lets see shall we?
Take a look  - This is where my jaw drops at something and then I share it with you.
Soul Matters  - Kind words. We all need them sometimes, even if they are from a stranger. Bring an open heart and mind for some occasional philosophical discussion too.
Kiddos - Their world and everything in it.
Word - What it says on the tin. Sharing origins and oddities of the written language.
Real Life - Because sometimes its good to share a bad day and help others realise, that in this blogosphere of perfection and crafted imagery sometimes things are actually a bit crap. Literally when you have kids - a nappy with an exploda-poo that is still exiting your babies bottom, both feet are kicking in it and you have no free hands that aren't already covered and guess what - you're out of wipes. Yes. I've been there. If it helps you to know, then I don't mind sharing.
Wear - Honestly, I don't prioritise what I look like on the school run in the mornings as much as I'd like to. Whilst I'm working late in to the evenings (nights) I'm pretty lax about getting up early enough to pretty up. Have I lost my sense of style? No way, I just defer the time to execute it to extra time in bed.
Make - If you are itching to get started on something to make head on over to my Makes board on Pinterest. I'll be posting my own attempts at some of those projects as well as some new ideas here.

Sound good? Stay tuned.

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